When I fell in love with an older man with three grown children, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. His daughters thought I was with him for his money, but when they found out the truth about our dynamic, they tried to twist my arm, and I wouldn’t have it!
I never imagined that falling in love at forty would bring me so much judgment. I’m 43 and I’m dating Elon, a 61-year-old widower. He works in banking and I’m a waitress. Unfortunately, our relationship led his daughters to assume that I was just after his money, an opportunistic gold digger.
I understand that, to Amanda and Claire, at first glance, it seems like a cliché, a younger woman with an older, richer man. Their two daughters no doubt thought I was looking for financial gain, while their brother, Mark, was the only one who welcomed me and accepted me warmly without knowing anything about my financial situation.
What their daughters didn’t know was that they couldn’t have been more wrong about me and their father’s situation. Elon is no longer rich. In fact, he’s broke. Meanwhile, I have a trust fund and many thriving businesses.
The truth is that I waitress because I like it, not because I need the money. Elon’s financial problems are not due to him being careless with money. In fact, he sacrificed everything for his late wife during her battle with cancer.
The cancer returned three times, and each time Elon worked even harder, pouring all his resources into the treatment. This wonderful man maxed out six credit cards, took out a second mortgage and used up his retirement savings to give her every possible opportunity.
His only goal was to make sure he lived long enough to see his daughters get married, but he failed. His wife passed away a few years before we started dating. Now, he is left with mounting debts, while his daughters live comfortably in their own suburban bubbles.
The couple live six hours away with their fiancés, and on the last two Christmases, Elon and I made the long journey to visit them. On both occasions, I was met with cold stares and passive-aggressive comments.
Amanda and Claire ignored me, shunned their father when he tried to include me in conversations, and made sure their fiancés avoided me too. The pair constantly presented themselves as coming from some kind of upper-class family.
Periodically, they would make rude comments about me being “just a waitress” and having nothing. They would say things like, “At your age, 40, it’s sad to be just that.” Elon tried to defend me as best he could.
The first year of our Christmas visit, Elon called them out on their behavior. They apologized, but only to him, but excused their behavior by saying it was hard to see their father with someone who wasn’t their mother.
Because I loved Elon and saw a future with him, I decided to be understanding. Pain can twist emotions. But the second year was even worse. The thinly veiled comments about my waitressing job became more direct.
Amanda laughed once and said, “At your age, it’s a bit sad to be just that. Waiting for a handout from our father.”
Claire smiled with satisfaction, but did not disagree. I didn’t correct them. I didn’t tell them about my trust fund or my business. I didn’t see the point. I don’t like to brag and, frankly, they didn’t deserve to know.
I wanted Elon’s children to like me for who I am, not for what I have or what I can give them or their father. Little did I know that a gift to their father would change the relationship between them and me forever.
This year I told Elon I wouldn’t go. I couldn’t go through that humiliation again. He looked at me heartbroken and said, “I wish you would come. It’s Christmas.”
“I can’t, my love. They don’t respect me. Why do I have to keep showing up to be ignored?”
He sighed. ‘I don’t want to do this without you, and you know my back has been giving me trouble. The trip is hard enough in that old car with no one to help me.’
Since I didn’t want to come between him and his family, I insisted that he go alone and decided to make things easier for him.
His car had seen better days and was not so comfortable for his problematic back. My brother owns a car dealership, so I rented him a luxury car, something safe with comfortable seats for the long trip.
When Elon mentioned the car to his daughters, they exploded! They accused him of wasting “their mother’s money” on me and a “stupid car” instead of helping them with their upcoming weddings. Their selfishness was astonishing!
They didn’t know that Elon was drowning in debt or that I had paid for the car, and he couldn’t say a word to correct their suspicions! But that wasn’t the worst of it…
Elon’s son, Mark, lived in another country and, due to his son’s medical problems, he had never attended the holidays at his sisters’ house in recent years. His life had not been easy with his young son, Ethan, suffering from serious health problems, and the medical bills were piling up.
Mark and his wife, Sarah, had to sell their car to be able to afford the treatments. They were trapped, isolated, struggling. Hearing about it broke my heart. Elon didn’t ask for my help. He barely mentioned it. But I couldn’t get the image of Ethan and his parents stranded without a car out of my head.
So I bought them one. It wasn’t fancy, just a reliable SUV to get them to and from their doctor’s appointments. I didn’t say a word to anyone about it, except Elon. I didn’t do it for recognition. But the news spread.
When Amanda and Claire found out about the car, they naturally assumed that Elon had bought it. They were furious.
“Why would Dad buy them a car and not help us with our weddings?” Amanda complained.
When Elon told them the truth, that I had bought him the car, they shut up. Then, suddenly, they seemed to change their minds and called me on their father’s phone to meet. They told Elon and me that they wanted to apologize, to ”set the record straight.”
I agreed to meet with them, but only as a test. Elon was hopeful, but I wasn’t. When they arrived at my house, where Elon was living with me after losing the one he shared with his late wife, they seemed sincere at first.
Amanda smiled broadly and said, “We’re sorry. We misjudged you.”
Claire nodded. “It was a mistake on our part. Thank you for helping Mark. It means a lot.”
I wanted to believe them. For a moment, I thought maybe this was progress…
Then Amanda leaned forward, her voice soft and carefree.
“Oh, by the way… now that our weddings are coming up, it would be AMAZING if you could help us with some of the expenses. Nothing big, of course.”
Claire intervened.
“Yes, just a little. You’ve already been very generous.”
And there it was! The real reason they wanted to meet.
I smiled kindly. “No.”
Amanda’s smile disappeared. Her face turned red. ”Are you serious? After all you did for Mark?”
Claire’s expression twisted. “You’re such a hypocrite! You act all selfless, but you’re so selfish.”
As Amanda slammed her glass down, causing the wine to splash across the table, Elon tried to intervene, but she cut him off! ‘Unbelievable!’ she screamed before storming off.
Claire leaned towards her, eyes narrowed. “You’ll regret this. Don’t think we’re going to let you ruin everything.”
And she left, slamming the door behind her.
Elon stood there in silence, stunned.
“I told you they’d react like this,” I said softly.
He stared at the empty door and then at me. His shoulders slumped. “I didn’t want to believe it.”
“They’ve had every opportunity to treat me like family, Elon. They don’t care about me. They only care about what I or you can give them.”
He nodded slowly. For the first time, I saw relief in his eyes, as if he had clung to false hope and had finally let it go.
Later that night, Mark called and his father put him on speakerphone. “Thanks again for the car, Sandra! It’s made my life so much easier.”
Elon quickly filled him in on the failed encounter with his sisters, and his response was, ”I don’t know how you deal with Amanda and Claire! You’re a saint.”
I laughed. “I’m no saint, Mark. I just know where to draw the line.”
Since then, Elon’s relationship with his daughters has been distant. He has reached out to them, but they keep the conversations brief. I feel bad for him, but I can’t fix it. The best thing that happened during that meeting was that Elon’s focus had finally changed!
We started planning little weekend getaways, enjoying quiet nights at home and reconnecting with Mark’s family. Ethan even calls me “aunt” now, and that melts my heart!
I decided that Amanda and Claire could think what they wanted. I know the truth, and so does Elon. That’s enough. Our relationship is not based on money or appearances. It’s based on trust, respect and love. And for the first time, I feel truly at peace.